Understand and Overcome the Fear : Reasons and Solution

You can overcome your fear in your own way. I am here to make you understand how you should focus on your fear and your solution to overcome it.

Many videos and different articles have explained how to overcome fear. But here I am writing about this fear in a very different manner and focus on the causes and facts of this negative vibration or feelings.

1. What is the fear? What Causes fear?

Very interesting question. Can you spend some time to explain it in the comments box below?
I have thought about and researched in this subject. Now, I am giving it in my way-

•    Fear is nothing but the difference between expectations and reality.

You expect one thing but doubt your ability to fulfil your expectation. This doubt is fear. Very complex I know. Let’s explain it in a simple way, for an example: fear of examination is a part and parcel of every student. So, I think I should explain this.

2. Why does a student fear?

Simply because he doubts his ability. He may have studied well and may haven’t. But fear is there in every student life.
Those who don’t study, feel that how could they pass this examination? And those who have studied well, think if they could not get the highest score or could not secure their future of further studies, what will they do?

There are many reasons-

 Firstly, society and what it will say.

Secondly, some personal reasons(marks, parents, competition, future and all that).

Not only the students but most of the people think about the consequences of their work, about their impression in society.
Very strange! On the one hand, the person is the part of the society and cannot live without it, on the other hand, that person afraid of society!
This is the reason for failure.
There are many popular definitions of this fear. I have researched it and listed down some of those in my language-

•    Fear is a false imagination and not reality, so we should avoid it.

But, I don’t think it as imagination because most of the time a person fears for a very real cause.

•    Fear is a negative force in our life.

Here, I think sometimes fear is very important to perform well, rather say to prepare well for the performance. What you will think?
Though, I agree with the fact that fear has also negative consequences.

•    Fear is the boundary of our life.

This definition is very interesting and philosophical. No doubt fear to restrict us and shows us the boundary. Now, think about it in another way-
Now, you have seen the boundary of your life because you have performed very well to come here from the centre point if your life and now you are on the verge of crossing this boundary. Think positively and go for it.

3. Difference between fear and tension.

Most of the people cannot define the subtle deference between fear and tension/anxiety.

Tension is the result of a fear factor. If you are not well prepared it will lead you to fear and fear causes the tension.

Tension is concerned with the present or near-future situation means what is happening? Can I perform well? And all that.

Mainly, there are two types of fear and we can divide it as the psychological fear and the fear of death. 

Psychological fear is What the people will say or think about me? What will I do if I have done this? Psychological fear is controllable and it is a negative side of fear. On the other hand, fear of death is necessary for our life.
Now, you can well understand the difference; the problem is your preparation and performance in any situation.
On the other hand, the negative consequence of fear is anxiety. It is also different from tension.

4. Your fear vs Society

This is now going to be interesting reading. You have to decide on your choice. Would you like to get rid of your fear of society to perform better or you are afraid so you escape from your duty.
Now, let’s understand-

5. Why do people think about society?

It is an ancient concept. Now it is a myth. None fears society. You need to understand that in society everyone is like you who fears society. So, what is the necessity of such fear which does not have any value to us?

Nowadays, people do not think so much what you have done wrong on the stage or what you have said as long as you are sensible.

As you can see, established person do not afraid of the society while they perform on stage or off stage rather they enjoy their duty.

6. How to solve the fear of public speaking?

It is a very common question. Though I’m not the appropriate person to write about it. But, I have done some research so, I am suggesting you some key points to get rid of this kind of fear.

•    The main hindrance for a new speaker is- s/he always thinks about his/her audience. Don’t care about what the audience is thinking. 

Remember that, they have come here willingly to listen to what you will speak. Most of the time they only remember those points which are appropriate for them. 

For example, in a classroom, a teacher is teaching you for one hour but have you remember all of those points later in the day? No, the brain can only remember 10% of what it listens throughout the day. So, don’t worry about it.

•     Now, you will say the overall impression matters. So, your overall impression will not be created after your debut performance. It is a long term process.

•    Public speaking is a skill and you need to acquire this skill if you want to be a popular speaker.

•    Start public speaking with the help of your fellow friends, family members, and natives. Ask and analyze their feedback and work on these.

•    Now, after all these steps focus on your content. Your content should not be a scraped. Practice it at your home and it should be a properly researched work.

•    Be confident, your content is ready, you are psychologically ready. Now, go for it.

7. Is it a skill that I need to develop?

Yes, off course. Public speaking is a skill. Psychologically you need to be confident and superior to your audience. You have to speak about your original content.

Before acquiring this skill, you have to understand your cause of this fear and then practice will help you to get rid of this. It is not a major problem but of course, a majority of people have this problem.

8. What can I expect from society?

Expect nothing from society. You have this fear and you need to solve it. Society can only give you feedback. If you are good then it responses well.

As I said don’t think about the population of society but give high moral value on your contents.

9. Is fear a normal thing?

Indeed, it is normal. Fear is normal until you are prepared enough to do that. But if you could not overcome it after your preparation and practice then it is a disease. You may need a consultation. I am excluding the fear of death from this discussion.

For example, para climbing is a dangerous stunt but every time you do this you should have the fear of death. It is very normal.
On the other hand, the fear of public speaking is psychological. You should overcome it after a few practices and performances.

10. Is it a disease?

If it is under your control, then no problem. Otherwise, you may need a check-up. Don’t worry, most of the disease-related to fear is psychological. You can get rid of it with patience and practice.

11. How can I overcome this? How do I get rid of fears?

See, there is no appropriate way to overcome this. Different fears have different ways to solve. You need proper counselling and proper psychological strength to get rid of this fear.
For your convenience, I can point down some general rules that will help you in your life.

•    Know the reason for your fear. You need to undergo a self-analysis. This is the first and ultimate step that you need to take to overcome such a problem. Is it a fear of death? Then it’s ok, it may have some valid reasons.

But, if it is a psychological fear that means you have low self-esteem. You need to change your thought pattern. It is not a very hard task but it needs continuous mental practice. 
You can practice some Yoga or Meditation to get quick relief. Your psychology means not only the brain and minds but also the part of your body, your thoughts and food habits that influence your psychology.

•    Lead a routine life and have a sound sleep because it effects your thinking. I know, it is complex. But yeah, psychology itself is very complex, especially if it is related to the opposite gender.

•    Identify the source of your fear; write it in your diary.

 Now, it has two impacts on you. Either you identify or solve it or it will haunt you in your carrier. Hopefully, a positive result will come out and you can figure out the actual source of it and make sure that it will never come in your future.

•    Believe someone as your inspiration. 

Try to follow his/her skills and acts. Don’t need to be like that person but take some positives from the person. Try to figure out the x-factor from that person and implement this while you will perform. Suddenly, you can find out your x-factor while performing. Though it takes some times but believes me it is not magic, it is a reality.

•    Be positive. It is a very common solution for each and every problem of our life. 

Don’t need to explain this. But, I'll explain the different aspects of being positive especially in this situation. Let’s see, friends, try to imagine yourself as a successful person. 
Think about what you will do if you taste success for which you are working. Just think about this. Maybe you earn a lot of money, popularity or get high marks in any exam or just have a simple peaceful life.
The point is, you will get the reward for which you are working in a present. So why will you restrict yourself for your fear, if you can taste your success if you overcome it?  Isn’t it? Think about it. You have more potential but you are suppressing those for your fear. Believe this psychological fear as your enemy.

•    This is another most effective steps to overcome your fear. Do the work again and again to overcome it. 

Like in cricket if you are afraid of a cricket ball just play with it, after a few days you will get used to it and that will not cause any harm in your performance. 
For a stage performance just attempt a stage rehearsal before your final performance, it’ll effect you instantly. You feel comfortable when you perform it twice on the same stage.
The last thing, I want to say especially for public speaking that, you can enter the stage earlier and talk with your audience before your speech so that you can be familiar with your audience. In sports also this is a minor step, taken by many good players to make a major impact on their performance.
In conclusion, I need to say it again and again that fear is very normal human feeling as long as you can control it. To control it there are no 'steps' to follow. Just focus on your problem, understand the matter and solution will come in front of you. Remember the line ‘you are the creator of your fear and you can be the destroyer of it, none can solve it for you until you realize it’.Psychological treatment can play a vital role but again ‘you need to realize it’.
The problem and solution are in your mind.
I hope, you have read it very carefully and now think about your fear. What are the causes and how you can overcome it?  Just be focused you can find out an easy way to get rid of this fear.
Let me know, how I can help you further in this topic? If you have any suggestions please comments.
Best Wishes.

Aim for Cent

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